Friday, April 13, 2012

Stupid Day is Stupid

Friday, April 13, 2012—Long Beach, CA

Had my initial interview for the IVC job today. It was an incredibly awkward experience. I was put into a cubicle where I had to do a twenty minute writing assignment. Then I went to another room where I gave a teaching demonstration to the hiring committee. Then they all asked me pre-written questions that I’d been allowed to peruse earlier. I don’t think I fared too well. From beginning to end I felt cramped, trapped. I’m not sure how this format was developed, but I can’t see how it could possibly lead to the choosing of the right person. This makes perfect sense, though, in that ever since I started teaching in community colleges I’ve noticed how the teachers with the full-time jobs so often seem kind of dull, mediocre; the part-timers I work with are almost always the most vital and creative. I’d thought the job itself had crushed the life out a lot of the tenured teachers, but now I’m wondering if the hiring practices favor the uninteresting, those who can steer their way thru an hiring system that seems almost designed to take away one’s personality and punishes those who have a bit of an edge and need a little room stretch before they can take off and soar. Feeling bitter about the experience. Though I am very unsure if I even want the job, I would have liked to have been able to show who I truly am in the hiring process and have that person be accepted or rejected. Perhaps my feelings about all this show that I really shouldn’t be trying for this kind of job. I mean, if I felt this trapped in the interview how would I feel having to do the job itself? I need something more free, something more dangerous. Cushy academic positions simply don’t fit my nature. I’m a writer—what the hell am I doing playing anthropologist?

The fact that it’s been pouring rain all day hasn’t helped my mood either (I borrowed my mom’s car today so I wouldn’t have to take my scooter and be all windblown and wrinkled for my interview, so I got lucky and wasn’t rained on too badly). I’ve also now got a sore throat and am generally starting to feel a crappy. Hopefully I can fight off whatever it is I’m getting; I’ve got way too much to do this weekend to be sick. What a stupid day today. I just want to forget it. I think I’m going to read a little Philip Whalen and Noam Chomsky, watch the midnight rerun of Family Guy and them get some sleep. Aloha April 13, 2012—you will not be missed.


helicopter steve (Estabrook) said...

Oh my! Well I can tell you based on performances that seemed like train wrecks until viewing a video that your pre-interview anxieties and ambiguity about the whole thing likely colored your impression of how you did. You would probably be surprised...Whether or not that's a comfort since you're not sure if you want the position I can't tell you...but I bet you came off better than you thought.

Rob Woodard said...

Maybe. I've walked out of similar situations feeling better, though. Thanks for trying to cheer me up.